For several years
now with my daughters, I’ve used an analogy similar to the wheel-and-spokes
illustration Kathy shares in Chapter 4 of Screens
and Teens.
As professing
Christ-followers, we’ve discussed the importance of keeping Jesus at the hub of
the wheel representing each of our lives, emphasizing that everything else -
our gifts and talents, preferences, thoughts and actions, relationships –
should properly remain as spokes in the wheel. Each spoke needs to be connected
to and dependent on the hub for the wheel to function properly, and we can’t
try to put any particular spoke in the hub’s rightful place. We’ve noted that
lots of people like having God as a spoke but that few purpose to keep Him at
the hub. We’ve also realized with chagrin how quickly the wheels of our lives
fall out of alignment when we aren’t mindful, because we then end up letting
God unconsciously slip from hub to spoke. And, of course, it’s painfully true
that allowing anything but God to be at the hub promotes an unhealthy
self-focus.
For some – folks of
any age, but maybe especially young people, who have often not known life
without it – use and overuse of technology can slip into that hub role and/or
cause something other than God – friends, celebrities, games – to usurp His
rightful position. After all, as Kathy points out, we can manipulate technology
to “be about only what we like and want.” So it can easily contribute to
selfish narcissism.
Obviously,
technology is not inherently bad; it’s simply a tool. But, as with any
potentially dangerous tool, we must be judicious in its use. And in the case of
technology, I still believe – as I did several years ago when I started seeing
more and more parents allowing their kids to use more and more technology at younger
and younger ages – that setting boundaries and limits is the best way to temper
the potential pitfalls.
I asked my daughters
about this the other day. I’m sure they’d be excited if my husband and I got
them smart phones for their upcoming birthdays and iPads “just because.” After
all, they’re teenagers. So, though most of their friends happen to have
technology limits similar to the ones we’ve set, they know they’re “different”
because many of their peers are steeped in technology night and day. However,
they both readily replied that they know the limits we’ve set for them are for
their good.
Creating and
maintaining limits on our kids’ use of technology is like putting a fence at
the edge of a cliff overlooking a pristine, mirror-like pond. Any curious child
will want to gaze into the pond, which, of course, shows him his own reflection
in sharp detail. But if he gets caught up in looking for too long or leans over
too far, he’ll forget where he is and tumble over the cliff to his doom. So the
fence enables him to get appropriate glimpses from a safe vantage point while
also providing the boundary he needs.
Though I might be
mixing metaphors too much, I think it’s safe to say that good fences make for
well-aligned wheels. So…how are the wheels and fence in your house today?
*****
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