“’Touch’ with
your eyes, not your hands.”
“You may not slap your sister!”
“No, you can’t
have candy now. It’s almost suppertime.”
“Group dates
only. That will make it easier for you to choose wisely in your relationship.”
“Don’t touch
the stove!”
We all want
our kids to exhibit self-control; we know it’s safer and healthier than
impulsivity and indiscretion. Thus, I’m sure that – like me – you could quickly
list dozens of self-control-promoting statements you’ve told your kids over the
years. In fact, it’s our job as parents to be purposeful about defining
appropriate boundaries for our children so they might eventually internalize
good and healthy limits for their own behavior.
But – as with
all the other qualities listed in Galatians 5 as Fruit of the Spirit – we must
also remember that true self-control actually emanates supernaturally from each
individual’s relationship with the Lord. No one can really “gut it out” in his own
strength with any true consistency. So, in a very real way, true “self-control”
is actually “Spirit-control” – i.e., a choice each child (or adult) makes day
by day, moment by moment, to allow the Holy Spirit (rather than her own natural
inclinations) to guide and lead her behavior. For the safety and well being of an
immature child and others around him, we must set external behavioral
parameters – complete with logical, consistent consequences for disobedience –
but our ultimate goal should never be only outward compliance for its own sake.
Rather, our aim should always be toward encouraging each child to accept Christ
as Savior and Lord so that the Spirit will come to indwell him, thus opening
the door to an internally driven Spirit-control.
I was reminded
of this recently when reading Romans 2, wherein Paul exhorts the Jews to whom
he was writing:
For no one is
a Jew who is merely one outwardly, nor is circumcision outward and physical.
But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the
Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.
Applied to
behavior, this means that “being good” doesn’t make a child a follower of
Christ. Likewise, the goal is not getting a child to follow rules laid out by his
parents just to avoid trouble. Rather, true “circumcision” – a real ability to
control one’s behavior – is internally driven. And the Spirit actually powers
that control, since we – as humans in our own strength – have deceitful, wicked
hearts that cannot be trusted (Jeremiah 17.9).
With that in
mind, what can you do today to lovingly encourage your child to embrace Christ?
And if she’s already taken that step, what can you do to remind her that she
can avail herself of Spirit-control in any situation?
*****
*****
No comments:
Post a Comment