I’m sure anyone who spends any amount of time on social
media would agree that kindness is in short supply these days. It’s
terrifyingly easy to use the anonymity of the internet as a breeding ground for
rudeness, sarcastic disdain, and mockery. To my shame, I’ve done it myself…far
more than I’d like to admit. It seems so much easier to toss out a cutting,
pithy jab than to take the time to actually relate to another person’s
comments, and we don’t fear any sort of consequences because we can simply
unfollow a thread and be done with it.
But, besides the fact that unkindness is sin whether or not
we know its victim, any character trait – negative or positive – becomes
“perfect” with practice. Thus, allowing ourselves to walk in the flesh of
mean-spiritedness on Facebook very often translates to our real lives. Perhaps
we poke a bit less harshly when we can actually look into another’s eyes, but
continually allowing ourselves to get away with “clever” online nastiness
cannot help but seep into non-virtual reality. After all, Jesus told us a
person’s “mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart”
(Luke 6.45).
And those directly on the other end of our barbs aren’t the only
victims. Our children – for whom we are role models whether we like it or not –
inevitably notice even if we aim for kindness with them. And they’ll conclude
one of two things: either that we’re hypocrites for demanding kindness of them
while ignoring it for ourselves, or that the God of the universe has no power
to actually change sinful souls.
I wrote last time about how patience is hard
for me. I admitted that my daughters laughed when I mentioned the topic of my
article because they know my weakness. I’m a work in progress, of course, but
it pierced my heart to realize that impatience is still a significant enough
struggle that my daughters (accurately) identify me with it in the present
tense. And unkindness almost always tags along with my impatience, baring its
ugly teeth when I “don’t have time” for another’s “stupidity.” I loathe the
idea of my daughters seeing or hearing my nastiness, and it doesn’t matter that
it’s not directed at them; if affects them nonetheless.
I faced an interesting learning experience
this week. I was legitimately wronged by a third-party, and I felt sure I
couldn’t just let it go because the same situation also hurts many others.
Dealing with it required that I make a number of phone calls…and because I
homeschool, I knew my daughters would hear my end of every conversation. Too
often, they’ve heard rudeness born of impatience. But not this time. Of course,
I didn’t do it on my own; instead, I actively chose to let the Lord lead me. I
asked Him to do so before every call and I decided to regularly remind myself
that He will always provide for His Fruit if we let Him. And I found – as if it
were visible fruit growing before my eyes – that choosing patience yielded
kindness without even trying. So this time my girls heard firm but measured
requests, not yelling and ire.
It was one circumstance on one day…but it
showed me again that we really can walk in the Spirit if we just let Him take
the lead. How are you doing that today?
*****
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