Once upon a time, Angela had a little girl and named her Sally.
Sally was tall like her dad but rather stocky like her mom. She was very sweet
natured but also very sensitive, prone to tears at the slightest provocation.
As Sally grew into her preschool years, it became clear – despite
the fact that Angela had dressed her in olive greens and browns as a baby and
did everything she could to avoid stereotypical “girl toys” - that Sally had
been naturally wired to enjoy baby dolls, dressing up in frilly outfits, and
the color pink. Sally begged Angela to indulge her interests even a little, but
Angela refused.
When Sally was three, Angela – who’d always wanted to run
competitively despite not really being built for it – decided that Sally would
be a runner. She entered Sally in a Kids’ Race, hollering at her to, “Run
faster!” for the entire three-block course. Sally pushed herself as hard as she
could, but her height and build weren’t conducive to running. So she finished
dead last, a fate Angela openly bemoaned on a regular basis in Sally’s
presence. Though Angela eventually enrolled Sally in ballet, she complained
about it on the way to every practice and continued to insist that Sally keep
running, too.
On the other side of town, Maureen had given birth to a little
girl named Carrie. Maureen had been a tomboy growing up so, like Angela, she
planned to avoid the “girly” stereotype as well. As such, she also eschewed
frilly pink clothes for Carrie as a baby and stocked her home with puzzles, toy
cars, and Legos.
As Carrie reached the preschool years, she began to express
preferences for pink, “girly” outfits. She also asked for a baby doll and
relevant accessories, and ignored the toy trucks. When shopping with Maureen,
she gravitated to Disney princess puzzles and the Lego sets marketed to girls.
Maureen wrestled mightily within herself. On the one hand, she
didn’t understand “girly girls,” and had no interest in pursuing such
interests. On the other hand, she could see that Carrie’s preferences had to be
wired by God since she’d done nothing to encourage them.
In the end, she chose God over herself. She allowed Carrie to wear
pastel-colored dresses and ruffled ankle socks. She bought the baby doll and
added other girl-themed toys to her collection. When Carrie was old enough to
begin asking for nail polish, Maureen indulged her. And in terms of
extracurricular activities, she humbled herself and enthusiastically allowed
Carrie to pursue her interest in dance rather than making her participate in
Maureen’s preference for softball and long-distance running.
The moral of the story is not that “girly girls” are preferable to
tomboys or that dance is better than running. Rather, it is, of course, that we
have a responsibility to nurture and celebrate the children God has chosen for
us – raising them for Him – instead of aiming to mold them into images of
ourselves. If we do that, each of our children will be able to maximize his or
her God-given talents and abilities and will be secure in themselves and in
those around them. So the question is: Are you choosing yourself or God?
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