The Presbyterian church I attended years ago
drew attention to the Westminster Shorter Catechism by posting the document’s
questions and answers on the main lobby wall – one or two at a time, eventually
rotating through them all. The words were written in bold, beautiful
calligraphy, so the practice served as a great memory tool for picture-smart
members. I learned many of the catechism’s principles, but the first one stands
out most clearly:
Q:
What is the chief end of man?
A: Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy him forever.
A: Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy him forever.
Now as a mom, I realize it’s crucial that I
remember and apply this truth to my kids.
Simply put, I must remember that my kids’
main purpose – their “chief end” – is to glorify God and enjoy him. Now
that statement may sound like a no-brainer. After all, most Christ-followers
quickly learn – even if we don’t memorize the actual catechism – that our main
goal is to bring God glory. But knowing that in our heads and even seeking to
apply it to our own lives is not the same as embracing the idea for our
children.
We can talk a good line. But if we’re honest,
the reality – because our kids are born of our wombs or (with adopted children)
of our hearts and, thus, “belong” to us – is that we tend without even
realizing it to fall into the trap of acting as if they should “glorify” us.
They look like us, and we see some of our personality traits mirrored in them.
We want to give them everything we feel we lacked, too. So it’s easy to
unconsciously start living vicariously through them. And then they get the
inaccurate message that they’re supposed to be like us and make us happy.
My father did this. He was built for
football, but was forced to quit playing because of difficult family
circumstances. Fast-forward 20 years, and he demanded that my tall, lanky,
basketball-loving brother play football, too. He allowed Tom to play
basketball, but only if he first agreed to live my father’s dream on the
gridiron.
As my girls enter adolescence, I understand
the temptation. I can see their personalities taking root and their talents
blossoming – some similar to my giftings and propensities and others very
different. And I know that one of my main responsibilities before God is to
help them discover and develop the unique purpose he has given each of them.
But I struggle against a tendency to want to see them grow into my image, rather than his.
I know this will be an on-going struggle over
the next few years. I’ll need to measure what I think each of my daughters should
do against the unfolding plan of God for each of their lives. And I’ll have to
decide to choose his path even when I don’t want to. But part of glorifying God
for every parent is acknowledging that our children are really his children. And holding fast to that
truth is among the very best things we can do for our kids.
CK
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